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Friday, July 6, 2001
05:14 p.m.

My brother made up a word to describe my infamous style of pan-fried perogy: Burnogies. Too funny for me to be offended. ^__^

Friday, July 6, 2001
05:03 p.m.

I think I'll take up fencing. :) I definitely need something more physical in my life than sitting at a desk in front of a computer/sketch book/angry mob of customers. And then I'd have an excuse to buy swords and practice with them in the back yard. :)

I know I'm 'sposed to be über-updating my site today but I just realized that I don't have an About Me page anymore. I COULD whip up another black-and-red craptacular one such as I had before, but why bother? I want something nice this time... maybe with a background. Or borders. Something that I won't be tempted to rearrange for a long, long time. (Like two years.)

Oh yes: the last straw. I'm cutting my hair. I was going to try and grow it out, maybe even make dreadlocks, which would look really cool, but it's too dead from the number of times I've dyed/bleached it. So I'll hack off some of it and THEN let it grow and braid it up. Mwahaha. I'll have multi-colored dreads. That is my eventual goal. :)

Speaking of dreadlocks... Keith Hamilton Cobb (aka TYR ANASAZI on Andromeda AKA Me-yowr!!) has his own web-page! Cool! I love that hair. ^__^

Wednesday, July 4, 2001
03:39 p.m.

St. Albert is one isolated city. Yes, it's right next to edmonton and I can bike there in about an hour, but it's like theres a bubble over it that stops good people from getting in and good ideas from getting out. :P

My brain doesn't work very well when it's this hot. I just want to sit around and drink and eat ice cream. :) Then again, I just got this way cool idea for Skikardi II that I should write down before I lose parts of it. Toni speaks Skikardian... but like any second language, sometimes words don't translate literally. Like the words 'god' and 'goddess'. They don't mean tthe same thing to the folks of Skikardi as they do to us in THIS world. Therefore... An idea.

And I found a way to work the Bellwalker Legend into the story. And I finished doing the revamps on my web-page. It'll be UPDATED on Friday! Rejoice! But Avram the Sane won't be. Gawd I am so stuck. Bah. :P

Wednesday, July 4, 2001
02:13 p.m.

Mmmmm. Sweet warmth. It's 25 degrees in the shade. :)

Raptor's going to Las Vegas today, lucky dude. But it's a business trip with his employer. Lucky dude! Bet it's bloody hot there. The last time I was in Nevada, it was 42 degrees in the shade. That's even too hot for me.

People on the Andromeda bulletin board are really friendly. And very articulate. That surprised me! Usually there's at least one person //|-|0 +¥p3$ |!|<3 @ ®3+@®|). But these folks are pleasant, easy-going and intelligent. Ah, Andromeda gathers the Right Kind of fans. :)

Wednesday, July 4, 2001
12:47 a.m.

Gah! Is it wednesday?! Okay, it IS wednesday. DAAAAMN!

Mmmmm.... TEA PARTY. The first drum roll at the beginning of The Bazaar is just amazing. It only lasts about two seconds but its GORGEOUS. These men know how to make music. (I was gonna write 'make a girl happy'... Oh to meet those 3...!!!)

Y'know, I really hate being sick. It saps strength that would be better put toward writing/drawing/anything except reaching for kleenexs. :P I want inspiration to charge through my arms, from brain to hands in jarring, excited heart-beats, churning in my chest, my mind, in the red-lit place behind my eyes. Unfortunately, I am sick and therefore do not feel especially like doing anything 'cept staring at the screen. :) Whee.

Sister- AWAKE!! Ooooooooh. :) Pleasant shivery feeling. I love my Tea Party.

Tuesday, July 3, 2001
04:15 p.m.

It is bloody hot. :P Actually, I love it.

Monday, July 2, 2001
10:50 p.m.

Canada Day run-down! Whee!!

Raptor, Fluffy and I decided to head down to the legislature grounds for the free Wide Mouth Mason and Colin James concert, to be followed by 'the biggest fireworks display in Western Canada!'. We got there, navigated the large crowd and then started sneaking through the mosh-pit in front of Wide Mouth Mason. They were about 3/4s done by the time we arrived, but they are SO GOOD live!! During the pause between performers, we managed to worm our way right to the front. I remained clutching the fence for the entirety of Colin James performance, getting Coke dumped on me, ribs bruised and toes stepped on, but only about 10 feet away from the stage. : D I never knew what Colin James even looked like but he and his band were fun and very good. I quite enjoyed!

When he was done his set, the whole crowd got to singing the Canadian national anthem, then the fireworks started. They were so beautiful! Fire is so pretty when you use it right. >; )

So we traipsed off the grounds, drawn along by an enormous surge of folks and from the Leg grounds to past Jasper Ave, traffic was stopped, stalled, grid-locked and the people were walking on the road, between the cars. We yelled, whooped, told people to turn off their engines and save some gas, and wished them a happy Canada day. It was a whole whack of fun. It was peaceful, even with so many people, and everyone was happy (a little drunk) and lovin' life. It was beautiful.

We made a pilgrimage to Edmonton's one and only all-day McDonald's for food, then went to the backyard of one of Fluffy's friends and made sporting use of the wood and duct-tape weapons he keeps there. Fluffy kicked both Raptor and my asses spectacularly, with a huge make-shift broadsword. She even knew how to use a shield correctly! I was best with the bastard sword, but I suck at armed combat so I was swiftly cut down. : ) Raptor was using two short swords. I played with the bow as well and put some scritches in the garage wall. Hee hee. : ) I can actually aim!

I had so much fun! I've never actually done anything for Canada day before, never really celebrated. But this was so cool! Concert, and Raptor and I snagged picks from Colin James! : D Anyway, then I had to work Customer Service the next morning and had no voice, but it was fun anyway. O Canada indeed. !!!

Sunday, July 1, 2001
07:03 p.m.

Raptor has lots of mp3's. : ) I'm using his computer. In fact, he has like FOUR DAYS worth of them, which is slightly on the obscene side if you ask me, but at least he has a great selection.

Can you believe this: I was inspired by N'SYNC to do a social comment type piece of art. Impressive huh? Inspiration be drawn from many sources! Speaking of which... I've decided to write a... paper (I'm sick of saying 'essay') on the way I draw because I've discovered that it's rather different from many of the other artists I've met/ogled/read about. I draw like an alchemist, not an artist. : ) Tell you what that means what I get the thing writ. I've about five different things I want to write and not enough time to put 'em down. If I never slept, never ate and never worked then I could do it. However....

Happy 134th Birthday, country of mine!

Sunday, July 1, 2001
12:33 p.m.

...la la la la la... It goes around the world just la la la la la its all around the world just la la la la la... la la la la la...

Uh... heh. =^.^= Couple days ago, I was working in the fitting rooms and it was _dead_. Absolutely no one in there. So I was bored out my mind. Fortunately there was a blue felt tip marker, a yellow high-lighter and a red Staedler impermanent-fricking-pen. So I drew a devastatingly cute kitty-kat on the cover of the logbook in there (who you are, when you signed in, when you signed out and funny little messages to everbody else). Anyway, she turned out green and pink due to the impermanent nature of the red marker and the glossy surface of the binder... but she's so darn cute! Cute isn't my realm of artistry!! Cute is... like something I do when I can't think of anything else to do. Anyway, I thought pink and green were such great complimentary colors that I RE-DREW her in my sketchbook and colored her. Awwww... She actually looks like one of my co-workers (except the colors). It's creepy. That was a total accident.

Saturday, June 30, 2001
09:52 p.m.

I think cooking is therapeudic. That must be why people do it. That, and they're hungry. Anyway, I went dwonstairs to get somethin to eat and of course my mother was being her usual cheery self, but instead of stewing over the inanity and frustration of Her Loveliness, I bent to the task of burning the daylights out of several perogies. I can't cook, in the sense of elborate dinners or anything without charcoal, however, I didn't do TOO badly this time. Read: did not set off the smoke detector. The key to cooking 'right', I think, is standing there and watching whatever you're cooking. Normally, I don't do this. I leave, do my laundry, work on the computer, put on clothes, talk on the phone etc. But I took extra-special care of these perogies and they are extra-tasty now. ^__^ I have the secret! Now, how can I abuse this knowledge??

Saturday, June 30, 2001
09:49 p.m.

This should have been posted about three hours ago, but my @!^$#in Internet connection decided to die.
Dammit, Andromeda's not on tonight! >: P Seems like every other week or so, Global decides to drop it and turn me into a withdrawl-ridden ball of angst. Bah to Global. I wish I had cable so I could watch it on NBC.

I met a guy I used to know in high school walking home from work today. He's a fellow writer and even has some stuff published in zines and he does poetry readings. He told me he was thinking of starting a fantasy magazine, the most basic of basic, simple newsprint and no color (bah), to showcase new talent.


I had an idea like that once as well, but I let it slid in favour of the eventuality of founding a publishing company. However, I agree that this is an excellent idea and happily proferred my services (be they as they are) to the venture. I hope it works out better for him than it did for me. ie. gets past the idea stage. ^__^

Friday, June 29, 2001
01:54 p.m.

EEEEEE!!! : D Blizzard thanked Sluggy Freelance in the liner notes, er, instruction manual. Whatever you call that book-type thing with pictures and instructions in it. I think that's so cool. It's like a whole underground Internet culture. ^__^ I'm so jazzed to be in the know. Hee hee.

Friday, June 29, 2001
12:42 p.m.

Do you have any idea how many people don't know the Canadian national anthem? It's weird. I had to sing it- in English AND French- all through elementary and junior high school. Whether I like it or not, I know the damn thing by heart. And I don't even SPEAK French.

I was feeling a bit better yesterday, so Raptor and I went and got lunch at the Coffee Shop (it has a name, we just don't use it...) and surprised everyone there (as usual) since we normally show up on Sundays. Rappie has such a good job. I dunno if he really realizes it, so I'm telling him: Dude, you have a GOOD JOB. You make enough to live on your own, you're in a line of work that you're actual keen about and skilled in, you have AT LEAST a good start in the industry you favour and your boss likes and trusts you enough to take you with her to Las Vegas to represent the company! : ) I wish I had a job that summed up to that.

Ooooo, wicked cover art for Diablo II expansion set (The LORD OF DESTRUCTION!!!- oh, I like that title!) Looks real kick-ass! I wonder who did it??

Wednesday, June 27, 2001
08:35 p.m.

I've been sick since Sunday night. :P Sniffles, slight fever, stuffy head, aching body, dizzy... and of course, insanely bored out of my mind since I couldn't actually DO anything and my brain wasn't up to anything overly strenuous... So I did what I always do when I get sick: I grabbed the closest unread book.

The only unread book (or books I should say) which were within grabbing distance was J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings Trilogy. In a very faded and guinea pig chewed box-set too. Don't keep books near the floor if you at any time in your life allow a pet guinea pig to run wild.

So I started reading 'The Fellowship of the Ring' since the movies coming out next year and everybody is so pumped for it and people worship this series like... like... Ergh!! I just can't put 'worship' and The Lord of the Rings together!! I didn't like it! No wait- I REALLY didn't like it! I read The Hobbit when I was really young (8 I think) and I wasn't too impressed but I figured my memory was tinged with age or something and so I went and read the entire tirlogy in three days and really, REALLY didn't like it.

I'm not saying the books SUCK, since obviously there are rabid thousands that would gladly disagree with me and tear me into bite-size chunks who all WORSHIP The Lord of the Rings. I just don't like it. Nope. Not at all. And now the arguments:

1. Bah to Characters! Although their adventures span three books, the numerous characters all remained rather flat and unsubstantiated. They have their names, and their alotted duties and their personalities are based wholly on those aspects. I found it rather unfulfuilling since nobody did a whole lot of actual 'growing'- they just did things without being affected by them.

2. I like Words... but... In the space of three books, Professor Tolkein said what would have taken ONE (hefty) volume to say. Much of it was pretty filler- everbody's ancestry, multiple names, accounts of everything that happened in the past, present and future, songs, etc. I didn't mind the songs until about the middle of the second book when they stopped rhyming and got tiresome. And as the story progressed, he got wordier and wordier. I like words, I really do. But there's a limit of how many times I can read the same sentence written seven different ways with the same bloody meaning before I start thinking about skipping pages.

3. Predictability. Oh yes. I think I only laughed once. The only other noises I made were (between Kleenexes) several unsurprised exclamations of: 'Wow, I could see THAT coming.' There's something to be said about crediting your readers with too much insight; but there's also creditting them with too little. I feel insulted. I mean, this is no children's story but it seems like we're being treated as such with everything easily guessable and then spelled out for us NUMEROUS times.

4. Atmosphere: Brrrrr. Depressing. Dreary. Hopeless. Unloving. Seriously, it was the most depressing story I've read like... ever. I'd like to think it wasn't supposed to be but it sure seemed that way to me. Was this poor guy (the author, I mean) so down on our own world that he couldn't foresee a brighter place even in a land of his own creation? There were two things that made me shiver: the lack of hope and the lack of love. Hope: it seemed like there was no way Our Heroes would ever be victorious, even though the odds were in their favour (anyone who's read Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' could tell you Sauron was gonna get it and get it good). Love: Gah! I feel cold! The only excuse for 'love' was the devotion of servant to master, soldier to duty, King to Kingship. Even in the end when several characters end up getting married, I thought- Whoa! where'd THAT come from?!

5. Women. Hold on, I'm not a feminist. Stories can run their course completely without women or totally dominated with them, I really don't mind either way. They both can make good stories. But of the (I think 4) women in The Lord of the Rings, they're all alike in temperment, motive, purpose and description. They're all mild and yet brave, awe the protagonists without inspiring them and they're all incrediblly 'fair'. (Lovely, not just.) But they have no substance, no personality of their own. They're plot devices. (That bugs me.)

So I wasn't impressed. Every now and then, there'd be a passage that was cool but then there'd be CHAPTERS of needless, repetitious, tedious stuff. The characterization and atmosphere reminded me vividly of Robert Jordan's 'Wheel of Time' saga (still on-going, I believe), which I also don't like, but Jordan's people had more warmth. The love-and-light hippy in me rebels. Darkness and ill-will and war I do not mind in books, WHEN IT HAS A PURPOSE: to show us something of human nature, to give us warning, to illustrate the driving force behind what we call evil. But this was needless. Sauron was never explained, much less met. Where his desire for great power stemmed from, we never learned. Unless it was the simple and oft-over-used excuse of !!!MEGALOMANIACAL ULTIMATE POWER AND CONTROL!!! which would have been worn and tiresome even in 1965 when the book was published...

I liked Gandalf though. He was cool. :)

Now to a mug of hot peppermint tea and then to bed.

Sunday, June 24, 2001
01:58 p.m.

Heh heh. So I wrote an essay called 'Why Trance Rules' for the Andromeda page Noema and I are creating.

Reason #1: 'I could kill you both! And I can get away with it! You know why? Because I'M CUTE!' She calls 'em like she sees 'em.

Reason #2: 'Before I worked for Beka I... well, I would find things. People would hire me and I would... find things and then return them.' AKA, she was a thief. She tells the truth, you just have to figure it out.

Reason #3: 'Ouch!' She has a tail. Which she doesn't like having pulled anymore than I like having mine pulled.

Dear lord, I think I might be addicted.

Sunday, June 24, 2001
12:37 p.m.

I'm going to be Trance for Hallowe'en. I don't know how to dye myself purple, but I'm sure Sanctuary can help me with that... Hair should be fairly easy and her make-up is simple, just mascara and deep red lipstick. For clothes I'll go with the velvet bodysuit since this is Canada and Canadian Hallowe'ens are frickin' cold. I need to find out what kind of boots she wears and a belt and a bracer for my left arm... And build the tail. I think I'll use rubber tubing and some coat hangers for support. I foresee a pilgrimage to the hardware store in my future.

And then I'll practice my childish innocence and silly but knowing grin. Hee hee hee. Since there's only four months till Hallowe'en, I'll start ASAP...

Sunday, June 24, 2001
12:03 a.m.

Man, I love Pepsi.

Saturday, June 23, 2001
11:42 p.m.

"Harper's twin Muses: Chaos & Caffiene."
-Rommie, from 'Andromeda'

Could I sum it all up any better than she of the tightly fitting High Guard suit?? I think not. >: ) (Rommie needs a pair of saggy cargo pants and a baby-doll style 'Misfits' t-shirt.) Ahhhh... my weekly dose of Andromeda campiness. I am sated. : )

Hoo boy, damen und herren, I am a veritable Mill of Ideas these days! Hello massively cool idea for Skikardi II!! Hello, I love you, won't'cha tell me your name?! Hello hello, where HAVE you been?! I am invigorated. I am ON TRACK. I am a writing fiend. (I am so buzzed on caffeine I can no longer hold my pencil steady.)

Life is good. Life is great. Life is full of beauty and surprises and outstanding people and creative minds and possibilites. Life is vibrant with the promise of anything, if you only have the courage to reach inside yourself and take hold. It's like reaching through the dark, fumbling for your glasses, groping blindly over a hundred unknown circumstances, decisions, outcomes. It's sinking your fist through something so dark and un-knowable and thick with fear and doubt and rebuke and rejection that you want to pull your hand back, but if you do, that sludge will cling to your arm and stain your skin and maybe you will be so ashamed and defeated that you will pull down your sleeve, turn your face to the blank whiteness of failure and brand yourself worthless and without hope. But if you twist up your lip, cringe as the unknown slides over the palms of your hands, slicks you in grease of experiance and the loss of innocence, touch that thing that is your heart, that pulsing golden stone, alive with promise and hope and courage and success! For the sake of whatever you consider holy, NEVER LET GO. Dream. Gaze. Reach, and for your sake, NEVER GIVE UP.

And now off to draw until my eyes dry out. Its hot here. : ) I'm lovin' it.

"Paranoid! Ha! Like the purple girl in a room full of rocking chairs!"
-Gerentex (weasly scheming greaseball!), from 'Andromeda'

Saturday, June 23, 2001
06:45 p.m.

Ahhh... sweet buzz of caffeine. : ) How I love thee.

I've got two ideas for long, thoughtful and serious essays floating around my brain. The first will be called "Selfishness & the Pursuit of Divinity" and discusses the idea of the Self in psychological terms and, as we get closer to uniting all the parts of our psyche, we become closer to the divine. By divine I mean a state of mind which is more than human, something which most people instinctively suppress because they fear the possibilities it offers. I'll explain this concept further in the essay but suffice to say that we are god. If anyone actually read my web-page, I'd be fearing flames from outraged Catholics.

The second essay will be called 'What is Imagination?' and delves into where inspiration comes from, why we imagine things and why imagination isn't a waste of time. I'm reading a book called 'Jung & the Alchemical Imagination' which brought this on. It classifies imagination as something spontaneous and exterior (meaning we ourselves don't nessacarily produce the things it comes up with). Anyway, the idea fascinated me, so I'm going to write about it. Lord knows I've got enough experiance in the imagination department.

*streeeetch* Yes! The depression I've been under has FINALLY lifted! *cheer cheer huzzah* I can say that as of last night. It's easy to tell when I'm depressed because I don't draw or write and I get frustrated. Last night, I inked three pictures in my sketch-book, colored two, drew five new ones and am now contemplating work on a large painting which has been delayed for far too long. ^.^

And I got this great idea for Skikardi II. I like putting my characters into multiple settings. Skikardi covered prairie and mountains and snow and otherworldly cities. Skikardi II covers more prairie, forest, ocean, a volcanic eruption and now, desert! Whee!! And Cresais gets to blast somebody. He's been waiting several hundred pages to do that again. : P So anyway, now I have ideas galore and I'm happy again.

Depression has a reason though. It shows you bluntly what you need to change about yourself. Depression is the ultimate selfish emotion because there's nothing of anyone else involved in it. I was depressed because I see all these people who are so much BETTER than me- artists, writers, co-workers, people who live their lives the way they want to and have other people look up to them in awe because of it. (I don't listen to Bruce Dickinson when I'm depressed- he just makes it worse.) So I was feeling small and worthless. But- why? I'm still working on myself. I'm not finished yet. And I'm terribly impatient. Unfortunately, between under-fed part-time Winners lackey and horse-owning, godlike publishing mogul there are a few steps. One of 'em's called COLLEGE. And after that, finding a job in the publishing industry. And then- THE WORLD!! Mwahahahhaaa!! Well, not quite, but I've got myself assured that I actually am on the right track. Now I just need patience.

And a new nib for my Tria #136. : P I color too hard.

Friday, June 22, 2001
06:51 p.m.

Dammnit, the Stone Temple Pilots SUCK!!!! SUUUUUUCKK!!! ARRRRRGGGGhhhggghhhhhh!!!


Friday, June 22, 2001
06:09 p.m.

'I reach to the sky
And cry out your name!
Oh please, let me trade,
I would!
And it feels, and it feels like
Heaven's so far away!
And it feels and it feels like
The world has grown cold,
Now that you've gone away..."

What a great song. I've decided it's gonna be Lord Cresais's theme song.

Oooh! Something's on fire outside! I can see from my window (on the second floor). Sirens and everything now. It smells like burning plastic. : P Wonder what it is.

Gotta draw this: my big, mean, nasty warrior-queen drinking espresso from a tiny little espresso cup. =^.^= (I'm writing.) Wonder what happens when you get a feline species jazzed on caffeine?? Guess I'll have to find out...

Friday, June 22, 2001
05:45 p.m.

I look forward to the day when I log on and have something of earth-shattering importance to say. I dream of the day when I can say in bold-face size 14 blinking all-capitals that I've finally been published.

I also wish I had a strawberry sundae...

Friday, June 22, 2001
05:06 p.m.

Mmmm... greasy MacDonalds goodness. O.o Fast food: until someone invents a Star Trek replicator and installs it next to my desk.

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