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Thursday, October 11, 2001
08:23 p.m.

Here's one for ya to ponder: The world is going to Crap. Do we chin up and get along in our lives, try to keep a ray of happiness and hope in the world, OR do we dive into the issue and disassemble it from the inside out, thusly solving the problem for future generations? The former is easier, the latter... not so easy.

Question: How do you change the world without a gun?
Answer: You die.

No, I'm not suicidal, stupid, pessimistic or depressed. I'm just sick of seeing honesty, integrity, bravery and kindness get martyred by ignorance and packaged up into catch phrases people print on movie posters. Bah!

In happier news, Raptor convinced me to go down to Shirley Potters', an insanely awesome costume shop, where I got purple body-makeup stuff for my Trance costume (damn! it looks awesome!!) and a six foot long black bullwhip, for my own entertainment. :) Stormi wields one (though hers is about 12 feet long and real) so I feel obligated to have one as well.

Wednesday, October 10, 2001
07:22 p.m.

Let's make this official: I'm obsessed with Andromeda! Whoo hoo!

What constitutes Official Obsession?
1. The fact that Raptor just groaned in a mildly amused but rather 'oh-god-here-we-go-again' way when he read that. ;)
2. The margins of my school notes have become an Andromeda art gallery.
3. I can link any life experiance to the characters, plotlines or quotes from various episodes.

Yet, as I'm shading High Guard uniforms in the margins of my biology notes, somewhere half a world away, some innocent person just became a statistic under the heading 'collateral damage'. What a cruel, pitiless yin to my happy, superficial yang. Bring me my bow of burning gold, bring me my arrows of desire, I shall not sleep til the skies unfold, bring me my chariot of fire...

Monday, October 8, 2001
11:49 a.m.

Yep, you guessed it: I'm workin on another essay. Man, I HATE history! Okay, that's harsh- I hate my history professor because he makes history REALLY BORING. Take this 'book analysis' for example: read this repititious, tedious, badly written, disgusting book about 'disease and new world conquest' and then write a lengthy essay on whether or not we were 'convinced by the arguments presented'. First of all, where's the argument? This guy is presenting historical events, linking them together and calling it an 'argument'. Then, he's managed to include vividly graphic descriptions of diseases from bubonic plague to smallpox to typhus virtually every two paragraphs. I've now read about just about every account of pustules, leeches, projectile vomitting, fevers, and bleeding from every bodily orifice from Columbus initial contact with the New World to the invention of the disco ball. Yeah, pleasant reading. I expect another mighty C grade on this piece. That's right, if you've ever thought of stealing the essays from my web-page, don't do it because they don't garner the greatest grades. Off to find synonyms for 'tedious' and 'irrelevant'....

Wednesday, October 3, 2001
06:53 p.m.

Just when I thought it was safe to go scampering around my favorite online shopping spots again, my MasterCard bill comes! But- but- has a sticker that says 'Annoy the Boring'!! And- and I HAVE to get my paws on an Andromeda coffee mug! And- oh, while I'm burying my credit rating, I might as well go check out Hot Topic and eBay too... I don't do things in halves, baby. :)

Wednesday, October 3, 2001
12:35 p.m.

If I haven't said it before, let me say it now; my Biology professor is totally mad. He's awesome! :D Today, he was explaining to us how certain viruses work, which included the two most deadly viruses known to humanity, Anthrax (not the name of a terrible band) and good ol' botulism. Nope, can't spell it still. Anyway, not only can these things withstand severe temperatures (way above boiling and all the way down to absolute zero) but the way they replicate in a host is amazing. So he's explaining this is why people like these two so much as biological weapon, then he comes out and says he's created the perfect bomb for spreading them. Eep? And has the plans in his office, and no we can't see them. So where did I go after class...? You're damn right, I went to find them. ;) Out of sheer curiosity, not for any kind of hideous apolcalyptic plan. However, I was way-laid by a fellow student and thusly, he beat me there. :( Oh well, guess I'll just have to ask nicely.

My bio prof's a benign mad scientist. Guess parts of school aren't so bad.

Tuesday, October 2, 2001
04:56 p.m.

Wow, I just found out the coolest thing. A couple days ago one of my co-workers asked me to draw her a little picture of a koala bear holding a Canadian flag. (She's got Canadian and Austrailian citizenship). So I did and she was delighted and then today, she told me she had it tattooed on her, uh, leg! Well, inner thigh, so she couldn't really show me since we were in the store. Cool! I'm so honoured!

Monday, October 1, 2001
12:35 a.m.

I can't sleep. I feel strange. I suddenly realized today- I don't think I'm really cut out for school. I learn from one-to-one, up-close-and-personal teaching, not from a textbook or a person- no matter how talented they are- lecturing at the front of the room. So what am I supposed to do? I'll finish my two years of college of course, but after that? I feel like I'm floating, I've always felt that way, that I'm only floating around here temporarily. The only times I feel that I am on the right path are when I am writing, drawing something different and unique- and when I was in Germany. What do I do?? I don't want an easily definable job- I don't want normalcy because it doesn't agree with me. So what do I do? This isn't a recent occurance, I think this is just the first time I've acknowledged it consciously. School's not the way, where do I go? Don't you need a diploma to function in this world? Is there a way to prove I'm every bit as good as everyone else that doesn't involve logic or concrete facts? Is there room in this world for emotion unbridalled, honesty and curiousity and the desire to just be myself? Or am I destined to slip through the cracks and live in dejected gray obscurity forever? Where do I belong?

Sunday, September 30, 2001
01:47 p.m.

My Magic Eight-Ball is lying to me...

Sunday, September 30, 2001
01:03 p.m.

...Bury Trust in the earth and the sky and the wind,
For that is where liveth the Truth time cannot end-
The Soul that defied Me!-
Remains as a wonder
That My Hooves cannot crush,
Nor my Horn rend asunder.
An embrace to the World,
An affront to the Cruel,
A triumph of self
And a smile for My Tool:
A shadow sweeps brightly over the land,
Cast by a creature beyond woman or man,
Who reaches for Peace with an ignorant hand.

"Physical alchemy": the ability of a being to control themselves to the most basic molecular levels, enabling them to transform the building blocks of their physical body into energy and manipulate that energy for a specific purpose.

I'd procrastinating on my essay again. Man, I HATE writing essays! Why am I not allowed to just write what I mean rather than trying to fit it all into a grammatically correct, structurally acceptable pile of bullshit?? Life isn't grammatically correct or structurally acceptable and if writing is art and art is a reflection of life, then essays (being writing) are not a valid reflection of reality, so basically English class teaches us to lie about reality.

This is why I dropped my logic class.

Friday, September 28, 2001
08:06 p.m.

Back to essay-writing land. Good lord how I've missed the adrenaline-pumping excitement of english literature. *suppresses a yawn* The topic this round is 'What is distinctive about the short story?' Hmmmm. Here's a few ideas:

1. More in tune with the attention span of your average person than a 300-page novel.
2. Requires much greater suspension of belief since the writer doesn't have pages to build up characters or events.
3. Publishers can pack a whole lot of 'em into one unwieldly lexicon of evil (AKA my textbook).
4. They are occaisonally (oh who am I kidding- they're MOSTLY) confusing and sometimes pointless to boot. The editors of my english anthology picked every short story with any vestige of lesbianism they could get their filthy meathooks on. I mean there's shedding light on a subject and then there's a debauched crotchety old editor with nothing better to do than- naw, I won't start. Whoops, too late.
5. Over the millenia, they've evolved from an intensely paced art form to TV show scripts and a laugh track. Really, TV shows ARE short stories. Once a week, short enough to fit into a hectic schedule, long enough to be engaging, episodic heroin. Some TV is a masterful art-form under those circumstances. But don't Cel I said that cuz I'm still trying to convince her that television is evil.

Enough with the procrastination! I have a masterpiece to craft!

Wednesday, September 26, 2001
05:35 p.m.

I just realized that 3 out of 4 of my leading men have been caught wearing chain mail shirts. Check out Exhibit A:

Till Indemann, lead singer of one of my all-time favorite bands in the universe, RAMMS+EIN. Wearing the very fashionable chain-mail vest. Now, Exhibit B:

The incredibly skilled actor and magnificent writer (not to mention HOT!) Keith Hamilton Cobb, AKA Tyr Anasazi of 'Andromeda' fame. Yet again, a chain mail shirt. And to my personal favorite... Exhibit D (for Dickinson):

The all-mighty god of metal, Bruce Dickinson AKA Human Air-Raid Siren. And a metal shirt. So I ask: What IS it about men in chain-mail??!

Tuesday, September 25, 2001
08:23 a.m.

Bought Iron Maiden's 'Seventh Son of a Seventh Son' album yesterday. It's easily one of my favorites. (How can I pick a favorite when I like it all?!) The guy behind the counter was very enthusiastic about my purchase as well. :) Iron Maiden fans are so difficult to find these days...

Saturday, September 22, 2001
08:27 p.m.

Flashback to about an hour ago...

Amble downstairs. Carry TV into living room. Position in front of couch. Adjust reception. Curse the lack of cable. Whack television. Settle down to watch Andromeda re-run. Endure Global's icky ten minutes of promo's for things like 'Supermodels' and the next round of 'Popstars'. Suppress gag reflex.

Cue Andromeda theme music and sinister announcer voice. Perk ears. Wha-a-at...? This can't be right... No, not right at all. But not wrong, but let's not get our hopes up.. What... the... heck?!?! No, no, this wasn't in my schedule at all... It can't be! It's impossible! The mighty TV guide said WEEK OF OCTOBER THE FIRST... But... but... IT LIED!


Bounce up and down on seat. Hyperventilate. Cheer for Trance. Cheer for Beka's shirt! Breath during commercials. Gasp in horror at the condition of favorite men: Tyr and (well to a lesser extent) Harper. Cheer for Rev. Feel sorry for Rev. Yell at television! Wait through more angonizing minutes of commercials. Cheer for Dylan! (Like him more and more every episode!) Sigh- MORE ads. Cheer for Rommie. Watch in terror as Rev betrays his friends!! Gasp in horror as Beka nova bombs the World-Ship- with Dylan, Tyr, Rev and Harper on it!! Gyrate impatiently during commercials. Shriek! Jaw drops as Spirit of the Abyss EATS A STAR. Wince when Dylan breaks his leg. Cheer for everbody as they high-tail it OUTTA THERE. Fail to be surprised when the Maru clunks its way into the Andromeda's hangar bay. Leap around in idiotic little circles squealing like a thirteen-year-old at an 'NSYNC concert. Repeat. Again.


Wednesday, September 19, 2001
04:06 p.m.

I just had a revelation about college/university: there's all these really knowledgable people (aka your professors) just waiting to have their brains picked! SWEEEEEET!!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2001
12:00 p.m.

*LOL* I just found out that two of the college's servers are named Ren and Stimpy. Don't ask how I found this out, just take my word for it.

Hey, I actually managed to draw and color something last night. Amazing! The first time in four weeks I've had time to draw!! God how I hate stress and impossible workloads. :P And exams? Did I mention exams?? I hate those too.

Tim Hortons owns me. :)

Monday, September 17, 2001
07:50 p.m.

Whew. History research project all finished. Not bad considering I started it Saturday and it's due tomorrow... Anarchism in the Spanish Civil War 1936... There's some really nifty anarchist organizations out there with more info than you can shake a stick at. And now off to the much-neglected sketchbook.

Monday, September 17, 2001
09:48 a.m.

This is the first time I've felt able to speak coherantly after September 11th. And I still don't know what to say.

College is getting tedious. I dropped my Symbolic Logic class because a) it's im-freaking-possible and b) it was the least important of five courses (plus a lab) and I've suddenly discovered school takes up a lot of my time. Hmmm. In fact, it's taken up so much of my time that I haven't written anything, and drawn only doodles. Over the past three weeks, I've been so stressed out I didn't know whether I was coming or going. :P So I dropped Philosophy and rearranged my life a bit.